The comments and questions I receive on this site essentially fall into two camps. On one hand, the custodial parents (usually the mom) argue as follows:
What about the MOM of the CHILD or whoever else is taking care of your child? Is she/he on a fixed income? I’m sure being the only person taking care of your child, it is tight so y r u so special that you shouldn’t have to pay just because u r on a fixed income? If you are BEHIND in Child Support then u SUCK!! Period.
On the other hand, the non-custodial parent (usually a dad) writes with arguments like this:
During the time I was out following three heart attacks my support got in arrears. I was taken to court. From the get go I was treated like a criminal. Later I filed for SSDI and after 3 years and multiple denial a judge approved me. I am 20k behind now. My benefits letter states i will recieve $900 a month, a vast sum of money to try and live on I know. But minus the $550 a month for arrearages makes it better. So after all I get $350 an month to exist on. Personally I would rather be able to work, because $350 isn’t worth what you go through to get it. There’s a lot of predjudice against people when they say they are disabled. What some people don’t see or won’t accept is some of us are forced into disability.
I never expected to get enough from SSDI to “live” on, but I did expect enough to survive on.
Then there are the cynical readers:
Child support should be taken from both parents equally put into a monitored account and a debit card should be given to the custodial parent, all money used with account would be tracked. Now adays child support is used as a way of getting free money for travels new cars hanging out at the malls and nothing to do with the kids.
Are there any fair solutions? What do you think?
Filed under Reader Stories, Social Security Disability Benefits and Child Support by on Nov 21st, 2009. 13 Comments. 
Are fathers who fall behind on child support payments always “deadbeat dads?” Some fathers (and their new spouses) argue that the custodial mom can be the villain in child support disputes. But does this attitude fairly contemplate the real life burden of raising children.
A blog reader named Arlene says that her husband’s ex-spouse is using her three kids as pawns to express anger towards her ex-husband. I wonder what the custodial mom would have to say about this?
What about mothers who won’t work with the fathers to make sure their kids are taken care of ? My husband worked 2 jobs and no matter how much he made child support always wanted more. At one point she wasn’t getting the money that was garnished and blamed him instead of trying to find out where the money was going. She would rather my husband look like the bad guy to his 3 kids. Fathers are not always dead beats sometimes the mothers make it impossible.
Filed under Reader Stories by on Nov 12th, 2009. Comment.
Should a custodial parent “cut some slack” to a non-custodial parent who is disabled and unable to work? Child support orders that are based on a father’s pre-disability income will be untenable when the non-custodial dad cannot work. The disabled father may not have the funds to hire a lawyer to go back to court to ask for a modification, and the delinquency balance will grow and grow. As a number of disabled fathers have reported, a child support delinquency resulting from an unexpected medical condition and loss of income can result in a wholesale forfeiture of both the lump sum and part of the monthly disability award. Is it reasonable to ask custodial parents to help the fathers of their children, or should the child support awards be fully enforced?
Here a woman named Patty weighs in. Do you agree with her take?
I think lots of women take advantage when a man is down and out and is disabled. I believe that yes they should take care of their children but what they can afford monthly based on disability income. They should also look at the reasons why that person is behind maybe he could not work for a few years and maybe the mother wouldn’t tell them where their child was and he just happened to stumble on where she lived. Also the Grandmother who has placement told him not to worry about child support and now she is worried and thats just what the mother said but the man stated that if they need any help then he would help if he has the money. Come on women quit being so money hungry. Oh yes by the way, I am a woman stating this.
“How do I know that the child support I am paying is really being used for the benefit of my kids?” This is a question I hear from my bankruptcy clients as well as from Social Security disability clients who are facing the prospect of giving up their lump sum and part of their monthly payments.
One of my blog readers proposes a solution to this dilemma:
Child support should be taken from both parents equally put into a monitored account and a debit card should be given to the custodial parent, all money used with account would be tracked. Nowadays child support is used as a way of getting free money for travels new cars hanging out at the malls and nothing to do with the kids.
Is this solution realistic? Does the man who wrote this have an accurate understanding about the obligations of a custodial parent? What do you think?
Filed under Blog by on Nov 7th, 2009. 2 Comments.
I regularly warn my clients that child support orders do not grow stale or disappear. Even if the child did not live with the parent awarded custody, the obligation remains as long as the child support order remains in place. If the custodial parent received welfare benefits, the state issuing those benefits may gain the right to collect from the non-custodial parent.
Here is a very disturbing report from a man who is facing financial ruin when his joint (with new wife) checking account was drained to pay an old and probably forgotten child support debt:
my checking account which receives both my ssdi & my new wife’s ssdi have been seized for the full amount of both our checks with no notification and leaves us with a negative $19,000 balance. My bills are bouncing including my mortgage. We are trying to get an attorney but since we live in florida but the support order is from Mass. no one will take the case. The child is now 40 years old and did not live with the biological mother during the time period of this support, but all other payments were made. Please help us before we become one the homeless.
I receive a lot of mail from moms (custodial parents) who express a lot of anger at their ex-husbands (or non-custodial fathers). What do the dads have to say? Here is a comment from a dad who explains how the long disability adjudication process has caused him hardship:
“I recently won my SSDI case. Apparently some people don’t realize what it takes to get approved. I payed my support on time every week, no complaints. I believe I should support my child. But a few years ago I had 3 heart attacks, it’s an hereditary thing, that resulted in me having 5 by-passes. Also I had back surgery to try and correct problems from working in places like gravel pits and hard manual labor all my life. I was immediately fired from my job.
It’s a long, long process to get a claim approved. During which time you have to rely on the kindness of others. And believe me you have to prove you can’t work. You can’t just take a doctor’s note in and get approved. You go through alot of testing by your people and state doctors who are there to get you denied.
During the time I was out for these things my support got in arrears. I was taken to court. From the get go I was treated like a criminal. Later I filed for SSDI and after 3 years and multiple denial a judge approved me. I am 20k behind now. My benefits letter states i will recieve $900 a month, a vast sum of money to try and live on I know. But minus the $550 a month for arrearages makes it better. So after all I get $350 an month to exist on. Personally I would rather be able to work, because $350 isn’t worth what you go through to get it. There’s alot of predjudice against people when they say they are disabled. What some people don’t see or won’t accept is some of us are forced into disability.
I never expected to get enough from SSDI to “live” on, but I did expect enough to survive on. I’ll be homeless before long and none of the shelters around here will let me stay there because I draw too much on SSDI. And even the goverment housing is $500 a month.”
Filed under Reader Stories by on Oct 18th, 2009. Comment.
Questions about offsets continue to fill my inbox. This one from Dina asks about a common area of confusion:
Dear Mr. Ginsberg,
I receive SSDI and my son (5 y/o) receives an SSDI auxillary payment. His dad wants to reduce the child support he pays to me dollar for dollar based on the SSDI auxillary monies my son gets every month.
I think I understood from your post on April 2009, that the SSDI Auxillary payments to my son does not offset any child support that I receive from the dad. Did I understand this correctly?
Can you direct me to information that I can provide to my son’s dad’s lawyer that shows him he cannot reduce the dad’s child support to me dollar for dollar based on my son’s auxillary award?
Thank you – you provide an invaluable free service – thank you!
My response: First, I think that the rules on offset depend to a great degree upon the jurisdiction where the support order was issued. Rules about offsets are state law questions and every state has different rules.
Secondly, I believe that the offset would only be applicable if your ex-husband was the one receiving SSDI. The logic of permitting an offset arises from the nature of SSDI benefits. SSDI payments arise from tax contributions that one makes when one is working. In other words, if your ex-husband was the one receiving SSDI, auxiliary SSDI benefits would serve as a substitute for his earning power.
Here, you are the one receiving SSDI based on your work. Your SSDI (partially) replaces your income and your earning power. Why should your ex-husband get the benefit from your contributions into the Social Security system?
Filed under Blog by on Oct 17th, 2009. 1 Comment.
My wife has 2 children from a former marriage. Her ex just went on SSDI and the kids get $250.00 each from this. In the past he has only paid $250.00 per month child support and that has come from his new wife paying it, before that he would not pay, now when have been served papers to go to court so he can get this dropped off, they say that the SSDI is enough, can he get this done in the state of Texas?
Jonathan’s response: this is a legal question that can best be answered by a Texas lawyer who practices in the area of domestic relations. A good starting point would be Laura W. Morgan’s Child Support Guidelines article, which cites a 1997 Texas appellate case (Johnson v. Johnson) that permitted a child support obligor a dollar for dollar offset credit for the Social Security benefit received against the child support obligation. The justification for such an offset is that auxiliary benefits arise from a claimant’s work and payment into the Social Security system – since these contributions are based on income the claimant should be able to use funds that arise therefrom to offset child support obligations.
Note, however, that the Johnson case was decided in 1997 – over 10 years ago. Laws change as do court opinions. I would never go to court and rely on a 10+ year old case without first researching the current state of the law. Further, state court judges can make their own decisions about offset issues, and about modifications to child support orders. This is a case in which you should consult with a Texas lawyer familiar with child support issues.
Keep in mind as well that judges make decisions about child support primarily based on what is the best interest of the minor child. While the non-custodial spouse’s income is a factor, it is not the only factor.
My husband and I have custody of my husband’s cousin’s 2 children. Bio mom and bio dad are not together. They both do not pay child support but are ordered to do so. They are in arrears upwards $25,000. The courts refuse to do anything. Bio father in and out of prison for other mean, horrible crimes. Bio mother has been receiving Social Security but her claim may be fraudulent and benefits terminated.
I have to go to court next month and I was told by someone at DSS that the child support would stop and the arrears could too. These parents have literally TRIED their BEST to proove themselves incapeable of taking care of these wonderful children and NOW is my chance to finally , finally terminate all rights they have, hopefully…thats all we want. After all of these years of stupid courts. The children deserve more out of life than what they started with.
Filed under Reader Stories by on Oct 12th, 2009. Comment.
Your ex has not paid child support and says that he is disabled. Has he filed for Social Security disability? This is the dilemma faced by June, who wrote me the following:
my ex is over 5k in arrears. He just sent the friend of the court a letter from the doctor stating he cannot work. How do i find out if he has filed for disability? I have no contact with him, he keeps disappearing. Do i file for my child and wait and see if my ex has filed, or is there a way to find out if he is receiving anything or has even filed for benefits? i am lost in this whole thing.
Jonathan’s response: I am assuming that there is an order from a State court ordering your ex to pay child support. As a party to that litigation you may be able to serve post-judgment discovery on him and simply ask. A lawyer representing you in the State court support action can assist you with this.
Social Security may not be much help as privacy rules will most likely prevent them from revealing anything about your ex’s case, even though your child may be eligible for auxiliary benefits (that will be in addition to whatever your ex receives himself).
You may also want to check with the child support enforcement office in the jurisdiction where the support order was issued (if you have moved, you can most likely get the file transferred to where you live now.
In most jurisdictions, the obligation to pay child support remains active and enforceable until it is modified. One question I would ask your own lawyer – does this letter from your ex’s doctor make any difference in his obligation to pay?
Filed under Reader Stories by on Oct 12th, 2009. Comment.
Jonathan Ginsberg