How Should Courts Balance the Needs of Custodial Parents with the Financial Reality of a Disabled Non-custodial Parent
The comments and questions I receive on this site essentially fall into two camps. On one hand, the custodial parents (usually the mom) argue as follows:
What about the MOM of the CHILD or whoever else is taking care of your child? Is she/he on a fixed income? I’m sure being the only person taking care of your child, it is tight so y r u so special that you shouldn’t have to pay just because u r on a fixed income? If you are BEHIND in Child Support then u SUCK!! Period.
On the other hand, the non-custodial parent (usually a dad) writes with arguments like this:
During the time I was out following three heart attacks my support got in arrears. I was taken to court. From the get go I was treated like a criminal. Later I filed for SSDI and after 3 years and multiple denial a judge approved me. I am 20k behind now. My benefits letter states i will recieve $900 a month, a vast sum of money to try and live on I know. But minus the $550 a month for arrearages makes it better. So after all I get $350 an month to exist on. Personally I would rather be able to work, because $350 isn’t worth what you go through to get it. There’s a lot of predjudice against people when they say they are disabled. What some people don’t see or won’t accept is some of us are forced into disability.
I never expected to get enough from SSDI to “live” on, but I did expect enough to survive on.
Then there are the cynical readers:
Child support should be taken from both parents equally put into a monitored account and a debit card should be given to the custodial parent, all money used with account would be tracked. Now adays child support is used as a way of getting free money for travels new cars hanging out at the malls and nothing to do with the kids.
Are there any fair solutions? What do you think?
Filed under Reader Stories, Social Security Disability Benefits and Child Support by on Nov 21st, 2009. Comment. 
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Jonathan Ginsberg
Comments on How Should Courts Balance the Needs of Custodial Parents with the Financial Reality of a Disabled Non-custodial Parent
First off, my daughter is already 18, has already graduated from a vocational school, back attending for a different qualification, and they took my disablitity, and i got no notice. I did get a letter from them after I got my first deduction, and by any calculator i have used, they are taking way too much. I asked for a hearing in mo, and they sent me about 50 pages of whatever. They are making no accomodations for the fact that I am disabled, and I could not get help from either Mo officials or social security. They both refer me to the other, and suggest i either hire a lawyer (i cant afford one), or complete the paperwork myself. I am blind, so even reading it is difficult. I also understand now, that i am supposed to be provided with documents showing how they arrived at the amounts, and i have never been given anything like that. So how do i get them to comply with their own laws? I get dead ended on phone calls, and its very frustrating. They also tell me if i wind up overpaid, then it is a civil matter, but they are the ones causing it.
Ok I know that disability is the last thing most men want to be on and not pay their child support. What concerns me is the with my recent lay off from a job and my current part time job, not paying much and my ex now reducing his support to only 500 a month, it s made it impossible to take care of my son. I just want to know if there is any help to my son for some sort of additional support coming from SSI? I know my ex needs $ to live on, I just need to take care of our child. And who determines what my child should get from this reduced payment situation? It’s taking a while to find a new jbos, with the economy in such a bad state. I live in NY and my ex lives in Washington state I live in a high cost of living area and he does not??? Just a few questions. Donna
@Donna: Donna, I think that the court that issued the support order would make any decisions about changes to the support obligation. In theory the amount of support should reflect the needs of the child as opposed to the needs of the non-custodial parent, but in reality, it does not always work that way.
I just have a question. My daughter’s father was just approved for ssdi and there is no child support order, can she collect benefits or do I have to file for child support?
Hi. I’m My husbands tutor in Social Security. I need to know if they can deduct from his check if I recieve the benefits for his needs? Also if there is a limit to what they deduct because he is being deduct from treasuary every month also his medication and doctors visit? I need legal advice.
The Family Court system is very bad and is harming millions of people all across America. I’m disabled from Polio at the age of two, but i never wanted to give in to my disability and went to enormous lengths to find work and work hard. In 1990 with an ex-wife and four kids i was being evicted from my apartment and was losing my car. My child support payments were $1250.00 per month and that was an impossible amopunt for me to pay at that time. After about a year of struggles, it became impossible for me and I was taken in by social services. Family Court ordered me to apply for disability and i got it a year later and began to slowly get back to a place where I could take care of myself. My disability became much worse do to the stress and i was never able to return to work. They garnished my social security disability for the next ten years, but my support order was at zero and my disability paid my kids half of what i was getting so child support was taken care of. I received a small inheritance in 2004 and paid off the balance of my child support arrears of about $25,000.00 voluntarily. One year later i’m back in family court and it was just as unfair this time as it was the first time. They are not on your side and they are out to get you. With an income of about $15,000 a year they said i was making just under $200,000.00 a year in business which was a lie and they knew it. My child support was set at about $35,000.00 a year. The cost of the insurance for this last child is $690.00 per year and my income is less than 20% of hers. Still they said i should pay 91%. When i add it up i see that they are charging me about double of what she actually pays for her medical insurance.
I got the first two orders vacated but they just hit me with another one. They make money from a welfare program called Title IV-D and even rich people go on it for the free attorney and tax credits that i don’t get and her attorney is unfair the judge is unfair and it’s all not right. The federal government pays the states nearly 5 billion dollars a year in matching funds to up the child support awards and that’s a lot of incentive to harm the non-custodial parent which it does. This is not a free country anymore. If you think that it might be worth it because it makes the welfare dads pay up for the cost of welfare, it does not do that. As child support orders have doubled the cost to the tax payer has gone up probably four times what it was.
We need to stop this horrible family court plunder of fathers. As a disabled person, we need to have compassion for those less fortunate, disabled or poor.
My fiance has 1 kidney since he was a month old. He has 2 son’s 15 and 17. One has Aspergers the other is Autistic. The 15 yr.old has autism and was receiving SS benefits for years. Now that the ex-wife is working full-time and receives $600.00 mo. in child support always on time, no arrears owed ever, I’m not sure if she still receives SS benefits or not. My question is now that my fiance’s facing dialysis very soon and will have to apply for SSD or SSI how and what is his child support based on? Do the children get a benefit check themselves each month? Does the child support obligation amount get lowered? He’s not trying to get out of paying support like the rest of these rotten father’s he was just wondering how things work. If the child support get’s reduced due to his disability will the child with autism then become eligible for SSI benefits? We live in NY State my fiance has worked very, very hard since the age of 14 but he is now at the point where it’s almost becoming impossible to work as hard as he is used to working and with only 1 kidney to begin with it’s a do or die situation when it comes to dialysis or getting a kidney transplant.
If you can answer some of these questions we would greatly appreciate it.
@Donna: Donna. I think you need to get a full time job! Your getting $500 tax free a month. Maybe YOU should think about working full-time and putting your child first or does that conflict with your care-free lifestyle of working when you feel like it?